his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
