lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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