...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
