This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize