whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i need some magic done to my vagina
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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