i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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