that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
