Having a random hookup so left but love u
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
