So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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