There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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