Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
