I'm eating all of the evidence.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
