i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
