Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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