ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
