what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
