You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize