She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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