she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
