If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
