CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
