He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
