he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
