so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
