no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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