i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
