Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
