you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
