That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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