So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize