You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Let's get the cat blown out
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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