last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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