you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Congratulations! We have a period
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