I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize