Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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