You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
