how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
