I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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