thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
