Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize