i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
