I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
