Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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