it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
