you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
