theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We need to rekindle our bromance
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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