I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
