after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
