I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think your dad took our porno
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize