they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
