don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my being single is dangerous.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
