And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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