So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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