oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
