He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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