Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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