i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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