Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
