someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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