erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
