There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
