I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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