I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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